Thursday, June 26, 2008
How did i manage to myself stuck in this? I have no idea. It's been a while since i have posted (not that i have ever posted regularly on this blog) but I havent been posting recently because so much has happened that I don't even know how to start explaining.
So I've come here not really having any idea what God wants me here for and now it's all beginning to click and to be perfectly honest...I feel quite scared.
I can hardly believe that at the end of this year, I will be finding myself in China yet again. The first half of the trip, I will be in the north western part of China where the population is predominantly Muslim and i'll be with a few others evangelising through music and building up the worship ministry in that remote part of the world.
The second half of the trip I will be flying down south to a few different regions where I will be visiting several mission projects under the organisation, Blessed China International. The focus of this part of the trip will be to visit areas where HIV and turberculosis have escalated into quite a severe issue and in particular look at the issues of medicine supply and education on the proper use of medication.
So you ask me..how did i manage so suddenly get into something like this? It all started with Missions Fest a few weeks ago where a lady, Linda, (who has given her life to become a missionary and is involved in like '50 million' projects in china) saw me singing as part of the worship team and felt prompted by God to pray for me. She had no idea who i was and asked a few ppl at church about me. Next thing i know (just to cut the story short) I'm sitting with Linda and Tiff and they're asking me if I would like to go with them and a couple of others to China at the end of the year. They didn't know me a couple of weeks ago, they didn't know my passion for worship ministiry, they didn't know i studied pharmacy and had a passion to use my degree to serve, they didn't know my love for missions and that I had been praying these couple of months for God to show me how these 3 things will somehow gel together the next few years. That night, all Linda knew about me was that I was the girl with "the big voice." So i told them. I told them where my heart is, what my goals are. I hesitated because none of them seemed to link and they seemed so out there but they told me to just forget about the complicated aspects and to just share with them...so i did.
After sharing with them, there response was basically to use this trip to follow my heart. That God's timing is so perfect and there was a reason why God had promoted them to approach me about this trip. They are so eager for me to visit the medical projects run by BCI. To be honest, I have been feeling so overwhelmed the past couple of weeks, reason being, Linda wants me to not just see this as any short term mission trip but use it to consider being involved in these projects long term. I am scared because Tiff said to me..."I have a feeling God is going to use this trip to mess up your life but don't be scared because I believe God has amazing plans for you and if this is His will, be excited and go with it." I am scared because I am only 18 with one semester's knowledge worth of pharmacy under my belt. God wants me? but I'm just a teenager? to which Tiff replied, "but do you want to waste the next 5 years of your life?" Am i ready to deal with victims of the commercial sex trade, victims of rape and the growing issue of HIV? Somehow, I feel like this is going to break me yet I know with child like faith, God could use me to do anything. I don't know what God wants from me, but I do believe that He has planned this perfectly and i shouldn't ask questions but just go. More than anything, i need people to really pray for me. Please pray for me...I can't emphasise that enough.
posted @ 10:41 PM
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