Saturday, June 12, 2010
So many assumptions, so much misunderstanding, so much gossip...the trust disappears, the disunity creeps in and the church starts to crumble.
Growing up I had seen the ugly side of church, I had seen the side that not many people, especially as a child get to see. It's different though when you find yourself caught right in the middle of it. I'd like to think I've grown for the better in many areas of my life over the past couple of years but after so much that has happened/is happening it's so tempting at times to just dig a hole and hide from the world. Despite what I had seen/experienced as a child, I learned to love the church regardless of its flaws. Church became home, it became my support through the toughest of times and provided such an important foundation for my life. This year I think that foundation has really been rocked..
I'm struggling to trust, I'm struggling to be real, I'm struggling to be open these days. I'm beginning to see how easy it is for our hearts to become hardened. I hate feeling like every eye is on me and I fear even more what goes through their minds behind those stares.
God has been challenging me more than ever this season to love my brothers and sisters in Christ; the same people who have formed an image of Pris in their head which is based on preconceived ideas. It's so hard when the trust isn't there. It's so hard when I don't know how to connect with people anymore. God I need you to show me. What's even scarier is that I'd say the majority of people are feeling the same way I feel. Spiritual warfare is real.
God, help keep our eyes fixed on You; the author and perfecter of our faith..
posted @ 4:41 AM
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